The eightfold path of Yoga teaching by Patanjali includes the practice of Yamas and Niyamas, ethical observances and restraints. In conjunction with our physical practice, we must practice these ethical observances and restraints in our daily lives. One particular Yama that has been on my mind lately is Aparigraha
Aparigraha is roughly translated to mean non-possessiveness or non-greediness. There are many ways to interpret what this means or how to practice it, but personally, this is how I've interpreted Aparigraha to mean for me.
Non-greediness and non-possessiveness in the physical sense means living a minimalist lifestyle. It means letting go of the need to have. We don't need to buy that pair of Yoga pants just because it looks good or just because everyone else has it. We don't need to have a TV set in every room. We don't need to have that brand new car. We can be happy with what we currently have. We can view material things simply as tools we need to carry out our daily lives -- the hunk of metal that transports us from point A to point B, the machine that allows us to enjoy performance art in the comfort of our own homes, the fabric that clothes us appropriately so that we may partake in society's activities. It's not to say that we should never allow ourselves to have new or nice things, but we should strive to not make it a crutch for our emotional well-being. If we ever feel we must have something to be happy, then this is a sign that we have an unhealthy relationship with the material.
Beyond this obvious level of greed and possessiveness is the mental greed we tend to have towards our peers' financial and emotional successes. It's human tendency to lust after someone else's achievements, to desire to be in that high-powered position, to want the relationship our friend has, to be jealous of someone's skills and abilities, etc. Practicing Aparigraha means to let go of that need to want something that is not meant for us. This desire holds us back from being genuinely happy for our friends and family, and it denies us the ability to forge the path that is meant for us. When we're too busy wanting what someone else has, we can't see what we need. We all have our own paths in life. Lusting after another person's life blinds us from seeing our own path and denies us from recognizing the good in our own lives.
A more positive way is to recognize the abundance in the world. There is more than enough to go around and to be shared. Someone else's financial success does not take away from your financial success. A friend getting engaged doesn't take away from your own chances of eventually sharing in that stage of life. Learning to shift my outlook, to recognize the abundance in the world, and to accept my own path has not only made me a happier person, but it's allowed me to have faith as life becomes harder and harder to predict.
Growing up, my family didn't have much so I would always get the hand-me-downs or I would have to share toys and food with my brother. This nurtured a very possessive quality within myself. I always felt like I didn't have enough, always wanting what friends and family had, always fighting with my brother for things, always wanting more. I was able to channel this constant need into a somewhat positive trait -- using it as a motivation to work hard and to earn what I wanted since I believed no one else could give me that. I would be outwardly happy for my friends and family's achievements and possessions, but I would always have that ounce of jealousy. The part of me that would think "Why can't I have that?" or "I'm happy, but I'll be even happier for them once I can have the same thing". I have no regrets for this because it's gotten me to where I am today.
But practicing Aparigraha has taught me is that there is something beyond this. An emotional place in myself where I can be genuinely happy for others and still work hard towards what is meant for me. I've been able to let go of that need to have what everyone else has and to be happy with what I have. You are only given what you need, not more or less. The life that I have, the fortunes I've been granted, the misfortunes I've been dealt, they're all there for a reason. They've all led me to where I am today. Whatever opportunities and successes I'm meant to have will come when it is ready. This acceptance, coupled with learning to view the world with abundance rather than lack, has allowed me to be happy for others, without greed and jealousy. Not to say though, that this isn't a constant practice. It's easy to lose sight of this when I'm currently experiencing the downhill part of life's roller coaster, but with practice, the moments of genuine happiness for others and acceptance of my own fortunes outnumber the desire and greed.